A friend came to my parent’s house with me one day and while I was doing something, she sat in the living room with my dad, who was watching television. I heard her ask a couple of questions just to get a conversation going. Not hearing any replies from him I went in and saw he staring at the TV, apparently oblivious to what she had said, “Dad, she’s been talking to you!” I admonished. Laughing, he turned to my friend and apologized. “I’m sorry. Your voice sounds just like my wife’s.”
Classrooms are seeing increasing populations of little dads in recliners. Teachers are talking and they are ignoring. Children with no legitimate excuses are being found guilty every day of selective hearing syndrome. They will sit and look right at us as we give directions and then ask if the task is crystal clear. “Yeah! “the chorus harmonizes. Kids get up, take out pencils and then in the same swivel, yell out, “What are we supposed to do?” They get to work and when it’s time for step two which requires cutting, we hear, “WHERE are the scissors?” which are on the front table they were told to go to in order to get scissors. This drives teachers crazy. Generally speaking about ¼ of the kids in a class need directions repeated, ask friends what they’re supposed to do or do things incorrectly because they didn’t listen to what was said.
Imagine watching a presidential debate and two out of eight candidates are paying little or no attention to the Tim Russert who asks, “So what is your opinion on this, Mr. X?
Mr. X looks up. “What?”
“What is your opinion?”
“On what?”
So the Russert moves on and has his question answered by Ms. Y, Mr. Z and Mr. A.
“Mr. B? How would you handle that?”
“I would leave it up to the states.” fakes Mr.B.
“You would leave the barrel price of oil up to the states? Mr. B? How would that work?”
Unfortunately, that’s the way many conversations go in classrooms. Time is wasted, those who are ready to go, get inpatient with those who never seem to listen; teachers get frustrated, the little dad gets confused and it makes for a tense workplace. When we talk with parents many tell us that their children do the same thing at home, and then punctuate it with a shake of the head and the upturned palms meaning there's nothing that can be done about this genetic deficiency.
While the urges are to admonish we may repeat ourselves three or four times. All that does is reinforce the not listening. Children quickly figure out they don’t really have to attend the first time. If you want your child to learn the fine art of being a good listener, the following suggestions may be just what the ENT ordered:
-Turn off external sounds from things like Xbox, TV, DVD and friends. Offer assistance and arrange opportunities for your child to practice. Listening is graded on the progress report under work/study skills and as such can be sharpened.
-Part of the reason kids are slow at getting the listening thing is because they tell us they don’t have any chores to do at home. Not all, of course. Just the ones that don’t listen. Too much throne time at the palace. Give the little princes jobs around the house that require them to follow multi-step directions such as cleaning out a litter pan that you forgot to line first. Oops.
-Children these days don’t have a lot of muscle strength in their arms. You can be a doubly good parent if you stack up the rewards by stacking up the tasks. Following directions can improve listening and muscle tone. Make them pick up things they capriciously strewed over the floors, under the beds and in the closets for the past four months. Step two? Pack them snugly in boxes to accomplish step three, which is to carry them down to the basement where they will stay until the room remains clean for a week.
-Have your children repeat what you have just told them to do. Require word endings and correct pronunciations. “Scrape the pasghetti offa my plate.” cannot be an acceptable answer to “What did I tell you to do after you finished dinner?” English as a second language isn’t just for foreign speakers.
Be creative. Integrate your listening curriculum with as many household chores as you can. Every time you have to repeat yourself, add a chore. If you read this piece aloud to your children, I can almost guarantee that they will ignore the whole thing except for that “add a chore” part after which their heads will spring up. They won’t need that repeated. They’ll look indignant and go into a diatribe about fairness and justice which might spark a great social studies or civics lesson! Watch what happens when they figure out that you just won. The hearing returns but only until they get the money or the favor they wanted from you in the first place.
Selective hearing syndrome. When it comes to teachers' frustrations, it's a cockroach.
