So you woke up with the usual mix of, “Darn, the weekend is almost over!” and “Yea, the kids will be back in school tomorrow!” Then you realize the kids won’t be going to school, but they’ll be home for the entire week and there is snow. The kids are even sick of it. Where once they used to run to the windows and beg to go sledding, now they look at it like a big plate of salad and cottage cheese. Besides, they lost half their winter clothes anyway.
So what can you do with your children for the seven hours a day they are usually in school? They’ve only been up an hour and already are complaining about how there is nothing to do and they’re so bored and can't they get another video game. Nothing you suggest will excite them. Unless it costs a lot of money, involves electronics, animation or volume they won’t be interested. You offer all the ideas you can come up with but still the bottom lips are curled down and eyes rolled up. You have to resort to something they will be able to relate to. You’ll have to become the person they won’t say no to, the one they don’t sass, pout for or manipulate…their teacher. You have no choice. Do this right today and the rest of the week will be free of mumble and moan. You'll be back to your book in no time.
Make them get all bundled up, don the backpack and walk around the outside of the house. Open the door, greet them all by name and make them hang up their own things. Call them all to the living room carpet and go over the days’ events which you have written on a piece of white shelf paper you had left over from the last time you actually had time to replace shelf paper.
Start out the day with language arts, they’re used to that. Have them pick books to read to practice the reading strategies they learned at school. They'll swear they don‘t even know what a strategy is. Ask them to read out loud so you know they’re really doing it. If they insist on reading in their heads, ask them to retell the story when they’re finished as you quickly read the book yourself so you can catch 'em trying to make stuff up.
After reading, hand out some paper and pencils for writing. Make sure the pencils aren’t sharp. That will make them comfortable. It’s the familiar. Movement is good for brain function so don’t fret when they continually pop up to get a new pencil, roam around a bit and then realize there's no eraser on the thing. One more slow wind around the house. Kids are great at killing time. Be sure you have a clock in the living room so they have something to check every ten minutes while wishing they knew how to tell time.
Do math next. Anything having to do with money, time or measurement is sure to go over well because these answers are clear. The time is never 11:ab. The time is 11: and some other two numbers less than 60. A dime is 10 and a nickel is 5. Period. You can count on math when nothing else in the world seems to make sense, except from middle school on.
Now, point out to the kids that you are only on the second activity of the day and watch their faces. It’s time for recess. Get everyone layered in whatever winter clothes are left and head outside only remind kids of the rules as you stand at the closed door wagging your finger with one hand and holding onto the knobwith the other. No throwing snow, no pushing, no sliding on the ice, no sliding on what will eventually be grass, no teasing, intimidating or threatening. Stand at the window and watch the kids pretty much stand in one place for fifteen minutes. Call them in and tell them it’s time for snack. Finally, something they are excited about. Bring out the celery and mushroom slices with a chunk of tofu between. Miraculously, they realize they aren’t really hungry.
Remind them that there is still science, social studies and Spanish left to do before the first day of vacation is over. Show them the stack of workbooks you got from Half Price Books that have everything they’ll need to stay busy. Sound really, really cheery like you‘re actually excited. That’s what teachers do and it won’t take long for the kids to recognize the smell of it. Busywork aka seatwork aka torture. If you have the kind of children who like to complain about how bored they are or how there’s never anything to do in your stupid house, shelf paper is really cheap these days. After about half a day of this you'll realize just how self-directed your children can be when a day with you as teacher is their only other option.
Have some peace and quiet on me.
