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A Fine Line


National This and That Month

By Foyne Mahaffey
Saturday, May 17 2008, 07:27 AM

America loves to proclaim things. It's advertising without the cost. I'm not sure of the process, though. Can one simply declare a month "National (fill in the blank) Month" and that makes it so or do you have to go to City Hall, get petitions signed or have the ear of a governing body? For teachers, this could be the curriculum guide we've been looking for. If we wanted to, we could just hop month to month building classroom activities and lessons around the malady, movement or product to be touted. I used to teach poetry in National Poetry Month, Women's History during March, Black History during February, etc. The problem became, however, that every year additional recognitions would be added and after a few decades it adds up!  Now the number of things we're supposed to be aware of, and make our students aware of is, as most things like this become, hilarious. A true patriot would collapse under the burden of such celebration, ay nah?

This piece can be read, or sung. It is (or seems) most fun when belted out during National Beer Chugging Month, which I now proclaim to be in the month of May, as well. So grab your grog and someone old enough to know the melody of the "Too Fat Polka" and have some fun. These are all real days. Ah one, ah two, ah three...SING

Lots of things to celebrate, oh May’s the month for me

May’s the month for me, May’s the month for me!

National Prayer and Eggs and Asthma, Sleep and Al-ler-gy

National Pet, yah you bet, I love May you see!

               DANCE AROUND THE KITCHEN

Barbecue and Fireworks, Arthritis, Salad, gee

Teacher, Goodwill, Bike, May’s the one I like

Photo, Baby, Car Keep-ing, there’s Speech and Strawber-ry

What a month, a busy month, May’s the month for me!

                          KEEP DANCING

Blood Pressure and Hearing, Phy.Ed., Sports and PTA

Celebrate with us, there’s room what they hey

Carpets and Cartoon Ap-pre-ci-a-tion have their day

Why is that? What’s for fat? Not the month of May!

                 GET UP, WE'RE ALMOST DONE

Family Week and Me-dic A-lert happen at this time

Freedom Shrine and more, couldn’t find a rhyme

If you’ve fungal in-fec-tion we’ll spot it on a dime

Cuz we’re aware that it’s there, isn’t May divine?

Comments

Jaime   

Foyne, Why didn't we have teachers like you back in the stone age?? (...per my 20+ y/o daughters!) Great song! May is now officially my favorite month!
May 18, 2008 11:18 AM

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