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Both Sides of the Fence

A Tosa resident since 1991, Christine walks the dog, raises kids, cooks but avoids housework, writes and reads, and works too much. A Quaker and The Aging Maven, she has been known to stand on both sides of the political and philosophic fence at the same time, which is very uncomfortable when you think about it. She writes about pretty much whatever stops in to visit her busy mind at the moment. One reader described her as "incredibly opinionated but not judgmental." That sounds like a good thing to strive for!

No bang, some whimpers

By Christine McLaughlin
Monday, Dec 31 2007, 09:02 PM

It's not the end of the world, just the end of the year. Still, while I hadn't planned to put on stilettos and silks to dance the year away, neither had I planned to spend the evening in flannel jammies, ice on my ankle instead of in a toasting drink.

It has been one of those days.

I awoke with a wicked cold, hoarse and coughing. Exhausted by 4 pm, I left work early to discover that I'd left my car lights on. The battery was dead. Mary Jane thought she had jumper cables. We went back to the car to check. On the way, I fell off the curb for no particular reason and sprained my ankle.

Triple A came to the car's rescue in blessedly short order, and I finally made it home in time to feel sorry for myself as the kids prepared to celebrate the New Year. I asked George to get Chinese food from Happy Wok on 124th near North--the restaurant that never closes--before he left.

It was closed.

Even so, today was better than the ones before it.

I'd gone to Oshkosh to help my mother move from independent apartments to assisted living. The new place, across the street from the old, is more beautiful, and she knows people there. For a gregarious woman, that's an important "amenity." But each day, she grew more fretful and agitated. It's change, we told her and each other. All the commotion and packing. People regress a little and then adjust. It will be better: you'll see.

She didn't, so she sent me to Walgreens for small cans of peaches. For reasons that will remain a mystery, a can of cold peaches in the back of the refrigerator makes Mom feel safe. 

By Sunday morning, Mom was completely disoriented and then lethargic. She began to hallucinate.

We took her to the Mercy Hospital emergency room just before the start of the Packer game rush. You'd think people would stay home until the game is over, but my sister, who happens to work in that very ER, says the opposite is true. We slipped into the ortho room, the only one open, just before the man with the bad tooth, the pregnant woman with trouble breathing, and the prisoner in irons showed up.

If you are looking for a hospital horror story, you won't find it here. Everyone from the admitting clerk to the med techs and the hospitalist was superb. And as quickly as such things can happen, we found that Mom had an occult infection (location and cause still unknown) and electrolytes and medicine levels out of whack. Throw in a touch of congestive heart failure and you have the recipe for delerium.

Once she was admitted and in good hands, I headed home to see my kids. How beautiful it is here! The flocked trees we have in Tosa don't extend much north of Mequon.

Today was back to work and the welcome relief of small and solvable problems. A large dark coffee from Bruegger's Bagels kept me awake enough for that.

The news from Oshkosh today was more good than bad. While the hallucinations continued, most were of a rather pleasing variety. Nice music, a room with 15 antique chairs, and her great-grandchildren playing hide and seek under her hospital bed. The boat ride with the chairs was scary, though, and so was the knowledge that what Mom saw and heard wasn't really there.

Thanks to intravenous fluids, she is enough herself to make jokes and understand what is happening. This evening, she began nagging my sister for rollers: she can't be seen in public with her hair so flat. And her face, still unlined at 86, is serene again, not twisted tight in fear, Karen assures me. She's sharing cookies with the great-grandbabies, who really are there.

"They gave me fruit salad," she told me of her dinner, "and it was delicious. Marshmallows in it, and peaches!" 

We don't know what all this means yet. But we are grateful for the blessing of this small miracle and what moments we have right now, this year and as long as they will go into the next.

I'm going to renew the ice bag and go to bed. After all, it's nearly 9.

May the lessons of love from the old year carry over into the new. To be ready for the hard days, you might want to keep a can of peaches chilling in back of the fridge. Even if you don't want to eat them, in a pinch you can use the can to reduce swelling. . .


 

Comments

beanhead   

Happy New Year to you too, Christine. For as awful as much of that sounds, it was also so beautifully stated. I just checked, and we have TWO cans of peaches in the back of our fridge. We are so blessed.

Eileen

December 31, 2007 11:04 PM

Thomas   

With my family it's Mandrin oranges.

I always thought that to be a strange custom as I cannot recall seeing anyone ACTUALLY EAT them.

I haven't (yet) acquired a taste-for nor desire to hoard them in my fridge.

It's conforting to know that other families manifest similar quirks.

Happy New Year!

Tom

January 1, 2008 8:45 AM

Christine McLaughlin   

Eileen and Tom,

Maybe it's those sunshine-y crescent shaped smiles the sliced peaches and orange sections make! Who knows: ritual has its own rewards.

Thanks much, and happy New Year to you, too.

Christine

January 1, 2008 9:14 AM

Brien Lee   

Christine, thanks for sharing your joys and tribulations. I feel bad for you and anyone who had to work around the holidays. As for me? I've had Monday and Tuesday off the last two weeks and am ready to go back. Thanks for another year of great writing Christine.

January 1, 2008 9:29 AM

Roxanne Suson    

Christine--When my mother was sick, there were three things that I prayed for: strength to get through the day; courage to face whatever came next; and faith to believe that tomorrow will be better.

Wishing you and your mother good health for 2008.

Roxanne Suson - BrookfieldNow blogger

January 2, 2008 10:24 AM

Christine McLaughlin   

Brien and Roxanne,

Thanks for your kind comments--and for "coming east" from Waukesha and Brookfield to visit!

Christine

January 3, 2008 4:10 PM

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