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Both Sides of the Fence

A Tosa resident since 1991, Christine walks the dog, raises kids, cooks but avoids housework, writes and reads, and works too much. A Quaker and The Aging Maven, she has been known to stand on both sides of the political and philosophic fence at the same time, which is very uncomfortable when you think about it. She writes about pretty much whatever stops in to visit her busy mind at the moment. One reader described her as "incredibly opinionated but not judgmental." That sounds like a good thing to strive for!

Indoctrinate your children well?

By Christine McLaughlin
Wednesday, Feb 6 2008, 11:54 AM

As my son considers going to school at Loyola in Chicago, we’ve developed a routine. I pretend to be horrified and say “Promise me you won’t come home Catholic and Republican,” and Geo replies “I promise I won’t become Catholic.”

In fact, I trust my kids to develop their own thoughtful approach to religion and politics.  We tend to think along similar lines and have shared values when it comes to the big things. One of those is to examine any idea that comes along carefully packaged. 

Still, I’ll admit to being irritated while listening to Wisconsin Public Radio’s show this morning on parents “party training” their kids. One guest, psychologist Christine Hamilton, maintained that it was a terrible thing to do.  But I wondered, aren’t parents supposed to teach their children the things they believe most deeply?

That topic, parents teaching (or brainwashing) young children to consider themselves members of one political party or other, is a hot one on the Net this week. Someone’s making buckets of money selling baby onesies emblazoned with “Weepublican” and “My Mama’s for Obama.”

For once, the Democrats have an edge on cutesy slogans. “Mom and Me for Hillary” has a nice beat and you can sing along with it. “Romney is My Homeboy”. . . doesn’t.  It’s just hard to use the name Huckabee without sounding derisive. And McCain doesn’t only rhyme with “gain.”

Anyone who’s taught kids knows that they are walking iPods loaded with the refrains of their parents’ conversations. And not just the ones we want them to have. They mimic what they hear and see. The problem is that when it comes to politics, and maybe religion too, what they hear is not usually deep and thoughtful. More often, it’s simplified. Especially with politics, it tends to be harsh and rigid, dismissive of all other ideas that don’t fit into black and white categories. Right and wrong, good and evil.

Political rhetoric isn’t the word of God handed down on stone tablets. It’s all about control, compromise, and manipulation. So shouldn’t we protect our kids from it? Better yet, teach them how to deconstruct it and figure where it fits in a greater scheme of things.

As a little kid, I eavesdroped on my parents and their friends as they watched the returns from the Nixon-Kennedy election in 1960. It was a close battle, and when it looked like things were going toward Kennedy, all the assembled Republicans grew louder. “If Kennedy gets in, we’re doomed,” they said.  I believed them, and I was terrified.

Of course they were wrong. Extreme partisan statements nearly always are. Some things changed, some stayed the same, and we were not destroyed.

So I’m back onboard with Hamilton’s idea.  Little kids shouldn’t be Republicans or Democrats. When we talk about how wonderful things will be with President X, how terrible things will be with President Y, we aren’t telling the truth. We are just scaring ourselves. And them.

 If my kids were little now, I’d buy them both Why Mommy is a Democrat and Help, Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed.  Then we’d discuss the differences between indoctrination and education and try to figure out what truths, if any, lie in among the simplifications and distortions.

Comments

MrWarrenAve   

"As my son considers going to school at Loyola in Chicago, we’ve developed a routine. I pretend to be horrified and say “Promise me you won’t come home Catholic and Republican,” and Geo replies “I promise I won’t become Catholic.”

Wow, I didn't realize that you were so bigoted against Catholicism.  I am actually shocked that this amount of hate speech is tolerated on this webblog.

February 6, 2008 1:26 PM

aberdeen   

Tine - you are well-documented on this website as someone who condemns racism, bigotry, and intolerence.  You are such a hypocrite.  It's OK to be anti-catholic (whether you are joking or not, it's not clear) - but if someone were to be anti-muslim, or said something against a minority group, you and one other commenter I am thinking of would be all over that person.  You need to practice what you preach.  Catholic is not bad.  I would be honored if my kids would consider a school such as Loyola.  It's actually a liberal unversity, which you'd know if you would do some homework.

February 6, 2008 1:39 PM

Christine McLaughlin   

Of course I meant that with humor. And of course I'm thrilled that George is considering such a fine school.

It's always a risk to be "non-PC." I'll continue to take that risk.

Christine

February 6, 2008 1:56 PM

2rottieguy   

Ah yes, I remember the day my niece went to UW Madison.  I told her to be carefull out there they will try to turn you into a liberal.  I was joking with her of course because she can make up her own mind.  Being Catholic is not so bad, you get free wine and a Host every Sunday.

February 6, 2008 5:45 PM

TosaII   

Even though you consistently resort to the excuse of misinterpreted humor when others’ responses such as these arise, wouldn't your public Blog statement regarding Catholicism be equally comparable to making obnoxious comments of sexual nature in the workplace or telling jokes about a particular racial background?  I do believe that this falls under a much different category than what you call political correctness.  

February 6, 2008 7:20 PM

Christine McLaughlin   

Rottie,

Exactly.

Christine

February 6, 2008 8:07 PM

Dwhite759   

As a Catholic I wasn't the least bit insulted, but that may have been because I was too worried about your son potentially becoming a Republican.  

February 6, 2008 10:26 PM

jszemborski   

It never ceases to amaze me how fast people take the wrong things.  I read this blog once every three or four weeks and I completely understood the humor.  Its also interesting how the people that are complaining are hammering her on the first paragraph.  Did the rest of the posting not mean a thing or further explain her position or did you read the first paragraph and decide to respond without reading the rest?  How many of these people posting their complaints are parents that hope their children believe and do the same as them, except they have it a little better?  I think people need to examine things little better before they start complaining and worry more about the things that are causing the problems, not a humorous remark taken the wrong way.

February 7, 2008 8:59 AM

TosaGuy   

I was raised in a Catholic Democrat household, fortunately, the Democrat part didn't take.

Not worried about the Catholic comment, however, it is interesting what groups tolerate slights (both real and perceived) and which ones do not, as well as which groups seem to be fair game for taking a shot at, if even in jest.

February 7, 2008 9:36 AM

MrWarrenAve   

Imagine for a moment that she uttered this bigoted hate filled comment:

"As my son considers going to school at Boston University, we’ve developed a routine. I pretend to be horrified and say “Promise me you won’t come home a Jew and Republican,” and Geo replies “I promise I won’t become Jew.”

The insult is the same, and I wonder if Miss Christine harbors hatred toward other religious groups, or is it all directed at us Catholics?

February 7, 2008 10:50 AM

jszemborski   

Being raised Catholic, I took no offense to what she said.  And for that matter, as far as I'm concerned, I have enough self-respect and self-worth to know what I am capable of and what my value is in this world.  While someone may say something that temporarily bothers me, I have little time to waste on them and in most instances, nothing you can say or do can change what they think... much in the same way that what I am doing right now won't change a single mind about how this posting was taken.

Oh, and to prove a little something, MRWARRENAVE, your comment (even though stated to prove a point) could be read the exact same you read Christine's post.  Why did you pick Boston University?  Why did you pick Jew?  Why did you pick Republican?  Are they your random selections or your choice of group to hate?  It could be that you really don't have a problem with them, but the mind works in mysterious ways.

February 7, 2008 11:00 AM

aberdeen   

I never said I was offended in my comment, if you read.  My point, similar to the point others are making, is that Christine frequently questions people when they say something in a post that may be considered intolerant, racist, etc.  Yet, she does the same thing here.  If it's not OK to make those sort of comments about minority groups, it's not OK to (humorously??) poke fun of catholicism.

February 7, 2008 11:15 AM

Jeffrey Kroll   

I love your humor Christine, and I found this post to be particularly thought-provoking and insightful.  Keep doing it just like you do, and don't listen to the baby whiners who take any excuse to cry foul.  (I'm a Catholic, BTW... and like DWHITE759, I too am afraid that your son will go the way of the elephant!)

February 7, 2008 11:26 AM

Christine McLaughlin   

Are Catholics a minority group in Tosa?

Thanks to those who either "got" me or decided not to look for offense.

When it comes to religion and politics, I'm an equal opportunity joke maker. Had Geo been considering Wisconsin Lutheran College, I'd have made the same crack.

As someone kindly pointed out, the joke was on me, a parent who doesn't want the acorn to fall too far from the tree despite attempts at being open-minded. I was too subtle by half. That, and Mr. Warren and #2 have a historic deep-seated aversion to me.

Whatever Geo chooses is okay with me. Except the priesthood. But that's not about Catholicism. It's about grandbabies.

Christine

As to BU, shouldn't Methodist be the denomination of choice?

February 7, 2008 11:49 AM

CrustyTheClown   

I'm deeply offended....................NOT!

February 7, 2008 11:51 AM

Christine McLaughlin   

Crusty,

Next time, I'll write "Promise me you won't come back a Libertarian or a Bears fan." A friend assures me that Libertarians have good senses of humor.

Christine

February 7, 2008 1:42 PM

TosaII   

OK...Of course I meant that with humor:/

February 7, 2008 4:13 PM

Carol   

Stop me if you heard this one...

One night a Buddhist Monk, a Shaker and a Devil Worshipper stopped by Christine's house. She invited her unexpected guests into her home.They stayed up all night and danced in silence to the "Simple Gifts" hyme while drinking goat's blood. A fun and collaborative evening was had by all.

February 7, 2008 8:11 PM

Christine McLaughlin   

But how did you KNOW, Carol?!

Oh wait. You were the one in the hood who brought the "wine."

Christine

February 7, 2008 9:23 PM

TosaGuy   

Geo?   Wasn't that the name of a car?  Remember that car commercial a few years ago of where the family was in the minivan and mom was telling her kids that their names came from where they were conceived and the youngest’s name was the same as whatever vehicle was being marketed?

The GEO was a pretty small car, but I suppose it beats being named El Camino or Gremlin.

But seriously, lost in this debate is the most serious issue.

EVERYONE knows that he should go to Marquette instead of Loyola.

NOTE:  This message has been Tine approved.

February 8, 2008 8:24 AM

Christine McLaughlin   

Guy,

Actually, I wanted to name the twins Dodge Ram and Escalade, but their father thought those would be hard names to live up to.

I too might prefer that he went to Marquette. Everyone in his dad's family has. But for some odd reason, he wants to leave home.

Can you imagine?

Christine

February 8, 2008 10:03 AM

Jeffrey Kroll   

"One night a Buddhist Monk, a Shaker and a Devil Worshipper stopped by Christine's house... They stayed up all night and danced..."

The next time that happens, you better invite me over, too!  I'm a sociologist of religion for Christ's sake.  I could use some networking.

February 8, 2008 5:31 PM

Dwhite759   

Christine, I was on your side till you equated becoming a Republican with becoming a Bears fan.  As a life long Bears fan I can attest we have never invaded a country and lied about why. I take back what I said in an earlier post and I am now offended.        

February 8, 2008 11:22 PM

Christine McLaughlin   

Dwhite,

Dang.

I get lost in the metaphors, which is why I stopped being an English teacher.

However, isn't football fannery more like a religion than belonging to a political party? I've never met a cynical football fan: they are all true believers.

Christine

February 9, 2008 8:47 AM

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