Walking along the Underwood Parkway, Idgy and I came upon a section of yellow crime scene tape.

Of course, it wasn't surrounding a crime scene. It was just part of the jetsam tossed up by the receding snows. Not the best sign of spring, but a sure thing.

And then there was the toll of pot-hole-pocked roads. We found bits of housings, hub caps, tire shreds, and most of a motorcycle exhaust system.

I don't know if we should be encouraged by a better class of litter this year. Along with the parkway litterer's usual beverages of choice (Mountain Dew, Pabst, and Southern Comfort) were the remains of vitamin waters, Bitter Woman IPA, and a nice French Chardonnay-Viognier, Le Grand Noir (The Black Sheep). Inexpensive, but it pairs well with salmon.

I didn't see any gourmet dinners, but I did learn that Taco Bell offers The Fourth Meal. Apparently, this is for the starving people of America who can't make it from dinner to breakfast and need concentrated nourishment to make it through the night. Judging by the leavings, there seem to be many of the were it not for this wasting away's right here in our town.  

People are still smoking Marlboros. Lots of them, judging by the crumpled packs under the evergreens. That brand, in case you didn't know, is owned by Altria, a Kraft Foods spinoff that bought Phillip Morris, got rid of Kraft, and bought up SABMiller, which owns you know what. If you want to know what business values, there's the story in a softpack and a six pack.

Next time we'll bring along a black trash bag and declare ourselves Tosa anthropologists. And we don't have to disturb a single bone to study the habits of the natives.

Wondering why the auto makers didn't make a bigger objection to the new energy bill signed into law yesterday? After all, it raised standards for emissions control.

The answer became clear within hours, according to the New York Times. That same day, the Environmental "Protection" Agency decreed that states could not pass more stringent bills but would have to abide by federal standards. Sixteen states have waivers permitting them to develop higher standards for greenhouse gas emissions than the newly approved standards. But those waivers have been effectively nullified. 

EPA administrator Stephen Johnson says that federal law trumps science, and “Climate change affects everyone regardless of where greenhouse gases occur, so California is not exclusive."

Well, erm, yes--and so what? Hello, bigger government; goodbye, states' rights.

The automakers are elated. The states, starting with California, are filing lawsuits. 

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Still think sex education isn't for kids? By now, everyone who makes the mistake of reading newspapers or watching TV knows that 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears, baby sister of the recklessly fecund Britney, is pregnant. "It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected. I was in complete and total shock, and so was he (19-year-old boyfriend Casey Aldridge)."

Erm. Or . . .HELLO??!!!? You have sex, you should expect to get pregnant. You can drastically cut down the chances by using good birth control--the right way, and all the time. But you can't prevent pregnancy by wishful thinking. Or in this case, non-thinking.

Self-proclaimed parenting expert Lynne Spears, the girls' mother and someone few Tosans would adopt as a mom-model, didn't believe it. ". . . Jamie Lynn's always been so conscientious. She's never been late for her curfew."

Erm, HELLO!!! It's not the time of the night that predisposes girls to getting pregnant, it's the time of the month. That, and having unprotected sex. 

I guess someone should have taught Lynne that first. She seems to have grown up in a place with a Brookfield less-is-more state of mind when it comes to sex education.

In any case, there seem to be no responsible adults in this clan. Someone tell them that babies aren't fashion accessories. 

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Is there a common thread here? Knowledge of the facts of life (science + moral behavior) matters. Ignoring it has consequences. And so does "extreme" parenting, whether too rigid or too loose. 

When a sewer pipe broke behind Underwood School last Thursday, spilling 9,000 gallons from the toilets of Brookfield, Elm Grove, West Allis, and Wauwatosa into the creek, no one seemed much concerned.

It wasn't a violation because it wasn't a rain-induced overflow. And since it would have "insignificant impact" on the Menomonee River into which it flows, it was no big deal.

According to the Journal Sentinel, "Little harm was done to the environment. . . Underwood Creek is lined with concrete in that area so there would have been no impact on fish or other aquatic life."

You'd think the concrete protected the fish and other aquatic life. Instead, it has turned the creek into an inhospitable ditch that breeds mainly bacteria and algae. It no longer filters the sediment we'd rather not think about.

 Still, ducks swim and have their babies there. Deer and wildlife drink the effluent, and so do neighborhood dogs when they get a chance. An occasional crayfish still manages to exist along the banks. Kids wade in it when they think no one is looking, at least until they grow old enough to know what they might be wading in.

 If nothing else, a creek full of sewage stinks. And all those little insignificant impacts add up to eventual significance. But apparently the Milwaukee Metropolitan Sewage District hasn't even begun to flirt with concepts like "zero defects." How can they, if every 9,000 gallons of raw sewage in someone else's back yard is "insignificant"?